Gap Year Reflections, One Year Later
This post is part of my Gap Year Series, read here for the why behind it all.
Shot I snapped a few weeks back on the drive from Snowbird to SLC airport. A transitional photo to celebrate a transitional time.
Back in February 2023, I quit my job as a product manager in tech to pursue an adult gap year. This was an extremely difficult decision for me, as a relatively risk averse individual who values stability and comfort. But ultimately the desire to simply take a break and prioritize myself prevailed.
Well — I DID THE FREAKING THING, I QUIT MY JOB AND DID MY GAP YEAR!!!!!!
Today is week 63, and also the last week of my gap year — next week will officially be my return to corporate girlie life. There is no time as good as the present to share some of my gap year reflections.
reflection 1: sometimes you just have to take the leap
Let me start with this: taking this gap year was one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. In a very dramatic sounding statement, this was truly first time I really prioritized myself — above all else. What do I mean by this? Well, previously I had also prioritized my needs, but always within very practical constraints:
What should I major in in college that I would be interested in, but also will give me the best career prospects?
What job do I want to do that will be interesting and challenges, but also pay well?
How can I explore hobbies or activities that I enjoy, but only after work or on the weekends?
Taking a year off of work was something I thought and daydreamt about for many years before actually doing it. It always seemed to clash with various expectations—my own, my family's, and those of people around me. Once I addressed the external expectations, I had to confront my own concerns, particularly regarding finances and its impact on my career. But eventually I had addressed those too: 1) by making sure I had my finances in order, knew my runway, spending, etc. and 2) by weighing the risks of quitting my job, taking a year off.
Despite meticulously evaluating the pros and cons, seeking advice from trusted individuals, crunching the numbers, and crafting a solid plan, I still found it incredibly difficult to take the leap. I knew at this point the hesitation was emotional. Logically I had already undertaken all necessary groundwork to make an informed decision. But it was still scary. And this is normal. With every informed decision, you analyze potential outcomes, benefits, and risks of each option, but eventually you will need to make the decision and accept the associated risks and consequences. The idea is that beyond this decision lies the potential for something great, making the risks all worth it.
taking the leap
The act of finally *quitting* my job without anything lined up in the beginning gave me huge relief that this was a possibility for me. The stress I had about quitting without having my next job lined up melted away. I was okay. But until I actually quit, it was hard to believe that I would be. Once I did it, it was like a switch instantly flipped in my brain. It was one of those things I just needed to experience for myself. And you know what, I am still okay, in fact, better than okay.
Preparation is key, but sometimes you just have to take the leap. And after you do, you will have confidence that you can do it again. The first time is always the scariest. Believe in yourself.reflection 2: health is wealth (and relationships too)
This is one of those extremely cliche things, but an important one. But it is one of those things where until you experience it first hand, it doesn’t really register.
When I was in college, people often quoted Randy Pausch ‘s quote about balancing different aspects of life: "You can pick any two: sleep, social life, or good grades." And then when I graduated and started working, it morphed into: “Pick two: sleep, social life, or excelling at work.”
Well, this year I didn’t have to pick. By already choosing to not work, I had all the time in the world to fully focus on the other aspects of my life: sleep, friends, family, exercise, hobbies, etc. All the things that I never had time to fit in before.
Couple thoughts here:
Sleep: I have gotten so much sleep. I nearly never feel sleepy during the day, and my brain is so active. I actually feel so present in every interaction. And it feels so good. For the data peeps, I wear a sleep tracker at night (shout out to the Oura ring) and there is actually a significant difference in my sleep quality year over year.
Health: My lowest lows this year have all been physical injury and sickness-related. I actually think I’ve been less sick than other years, but I’ve just been more acutely aware of how much being sick impacts things I otherwise would want to do.
Relationships: this year I got engaged, am wedding planning, spent an extended amount of time with my extended family in Taiwan, helped my brother make a big international move and been more present for him as he navigates adulthood, visited my parents more, travelled with old friends, spent time with and deepened friendships I care about. Overall I have been able to prioritize people in my life and not have to deal with the energy and time tradeoffs that normally are at odds with balancing work and alone time.
With work out of the picture, I have been able to go all in and easily prioritize the things that I have always known that I valued. Having established this new baseline of prioritizing good sleep, tending to my physical, emotional, and mental well-being, and nurturing relationships with those important to me, I now understand the true trade-offs I am making on the daily.
Health is wealth, and the most important things in my life are my relationships with people.reflection 3: loving the little things
One of my stated goals for taking this gap year was to take a full year of unstructured time for exploration and to allow myself to be bored.
Well, I actually never got bored.
Initially, my days were filled with plans for travel, avid reading, dabbling in new activities like surfing, training for half-marathons, and exploring museums in the city. As the months passed, I half-expected to exhaust my list of pursuits or grow weary of the novelty of free time.
But that never happened.
It struck me as peculiar because, simultaneously, many of those around me would inquire, 'Are you bored yet?' or 'How do you spend your time?' Meanwhile, several friends found themselves unexpectedly unemployed, uncomfortable with the presence of their newfound free time. I never really related to that feeling, or felt like I wanted to “feel productive” again by taking on big projects or starting my job search early.
And once I reflected on why I felt this way, I realized it was because for me, there was always something to explore. Whether it was perusing the grocery store shelves for a new recipe ingredient, strolling down a new, unfamiliar street that I had never walked before, overhearing the amusing stories of a stranger at a cafe, or simply sitting on a park bench and actually hearing the birds for the first time beneath the murmurs of conversation and honking car horns. I reveled in discovering and appreciating the little things. It truly brought me immense satisfaction.
“You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you.”
There is something about to learn from Warhol's artistic philosophy here. When you embrace the mundane and discover inspiration in everyday life, there are infinite things to appreciate.reflection 4: my job title does not define me
One worry/minor concern-ish (🤷🏻♀️?) I had going into all of this that is closely related to the previous reflection was that I would feel at loss when it came to my identity without a job title.
For years, I was Amanda, the product manager working in tech. While I didn't necessarily identify strongly with this label, it undeniably played a significant role in my daily life. (As someone living in the United States, who we are, and how others see us, is largely entwined with what we do for our paid employment). Whenever I met someone new, the conversation inevitably drifted towards, "So, what do you do?”
So I wondered if not having my job title would make me feel awkward or out of place in various social situations.
And it did… kinda.
There was definitely a hint of awkwardness/discomfort/confusion whenever I explained to people, especially new acquaintances, that I had recently quit my job and was taking a year off. It was amusing to see the various reactions. From my close friends, I was met with excitement as they had some context this was something I have been wanting to do for a long time. Close friends greeted the news with excitement, having some context from knowing it was something I had wanted to do for a while. Others praised my bravery, sharing similar desires to break free from their corporate jobs. And occasionally, there was a slight tilt of the head accompanied by a soft "Oh!" as they navigated whether I was simply hinting at being laid off from my tech job in a roundabout way.
Overall, what I discovered was that other people seemed more uncomfortable about my unemployment than I was. In our (albeit, American) society, work and career are significant focal points that make up our identities, making it challenging for people to find common ground or topics to discuss when interacting with me. However, I gradually found creative ways to present myself, providing others with talking points to ease conversation.
As for me? Honestly, besides what I described above where others didn’t know how to approach me, I actually felt fine. It was empowering to realize that I was secure and grounded in my own self-perception, with my own desires, wants, and interests. A job title, to me, was merely a static descriptor of what I was doing at the time, and not having one did not diminish from who I was as a human being.
Related note: When I started job searching again, breaking free of a job title and the expectations that came with it actually made it easier for me to later reflect on what I did and did not enjoy about my previous job positions. Turns out there was a lot of things that I did enjoy about working which were difficult to identify when I was experiencing burnout. Taking the break and stepping away to do other things really helped set my perspective.
Takeaway — I am a whole and interesting person all the time! 🎉Hope you found these personal reflections interesting and insightful! I can’t believe it’s already been over a year since I started this chapter of my life and now it’s already coming to a close. It has truly been the best year of my life, yet! Looking forward to what’s to come 🙂
As always, thank you for stopping by and reading.
